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    October 08

    如果我可以唱


    我就为欢喜快乐,引吭高歌。

    和周围所有的同学一样,每一天赶上课,写作业,批作业,准备实验,写论文,改论文。然而每一次仰望神的面,都经历了神的恩典和信实,在我每一次胆怯和害怕的时候。

    投出去的文章的审稿意见回来了,继续修改中。这篇在不同reviewer手上几经波折改了又改的文章,之前都快放弃了。现在想想,也许是在学习耐心的功课吧。我现在呢,就是想把手上的事情做好,结果啊,现在已经不管那么多了。还有一篇文章,刚得到通知拿了个best student paper award, 其实对奖项已经没有感觉了,我只是回忆起,在去年冬天写这篇文章几乎没有任何信心的时候,神给我的安慰和鼓励,让我坚持了下去。他伴我走过高山和低谷,让我品尝到生命的甘甜。

    老板说,这个世界啊,就是结果驱动;我们只看结果的。结果好,就是好;不好就是不好。我说,是啊,世界是这样,所以这个社会有问题。我们心里的世界是没有办法用物质和定量的标准来衡量的。唯有耶和华看人的心。

    看到周围的同学的叹气,不开心,和忧虑,有时候想冲到他们面前说,you know, you don't have to live your life this way. I have a gift to share with you. 可是,大多数的人,被世上各样的事情缠绕(找工作,做项目,写论文,反正是“忙”),宁愿继续原有的方式。我仿佛听到了,从天籁传来的,一声叹息。


    *

    和今年入学的学弟一起吃饭聊天,看到他内心的迷茫、苦楚、憧憬、和希望,好像看到曾经的自己。我没有办法告诉他该怎么做,因为,需要他面对的事情还是要他自己面对和选择。我只是,静静地听他说话。结束的时候,他说,我现在心里舒服多了,有信心多了。我说,终于看到你笑了。加油。

    看着他离开的背影的时候,我为这个可爱的生命祷告。有的时候,当你发现一颗不被世俗之事沾染的、纯真的心的时候,心里会觉得是多么的宝贵。我只是深深地希望,他能一直怀揣着这一颗透明的心,在经历试炼之后,折射出更美的光芒。





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